Grieving the Loss of a Loved One | What The Grief Process Taught Me About Life, Burnout, and Seizing Opportunities

PART ONE: Grief While Your Loved One is Alive

It shouldn’t have taken an event as tragic as this for me to come to this realization.

Life can be funny in that way though regardless of whether it should be or not.

After 14 years of having my cat, Aries, I will be suffering from the most painful decision I’ve ever had to make in my life: Saying goodbye

This decision was not one that came lightly. In fact, for weeks, I didn’t even consider it as an option. I just “knew” he was going to be okay. Because he always had been.

Unfortunately, this wasn’t one of those times.

During this process, I recognized many things as I experienced the most intense pain and grief I have ever had to suffer through in my life.

For years, I knew I held a greater purpose in life. I had always felt that I had something to offer those who were closest to me and even strangers who would stand to benefit from my messages, stories, and experiences.

However, that didn’t mean I had the slightest clue as to what that was.

As a result, I often felt underutilized in my professional career, frustrated about the work I WAS doing, and feeling like I wasn’t living up to my full potential. But if you were to ask me exactly what that potential was, I couldn’t tell you.

This sense of not knowing my purpose and understanding my feelings and emotions led me to pursue countless employers, various occupations, and several industries before realizing that success was not going to come from me climbing someone else’s corporate ladder.

I began seeking out various ways in which I could become an entrepreneur. At least this way, I knew that I could define my work and life’s purpose directly instead of hoping that an environment from someone else’s mission and values would do it for me.

The lack of clarity about what I truly wanted, how I’m truly valued, and my overall vision slowed down so much of the momentum I needed to make progress in my business.

It took the intense pain of realizing that I was in my last days with my first fur baby to know exactly what my purpose is.

The Major Lessons Having Aries Taught Me

Aries has been there since the beginning of my young adult life. Every major milestone that I have endured since the time I was 20 years old, he was there to witness:

• My first serious relationship which brought verbal and physical abuse

• Becoming legal to drink

• My tragic breakup

• Graduating with my bachelor’s degree

• Landing the first professional job of my career

• Meeting, dating, and eventually marrying my husband

• Buying my first car

• Graduating again with my master’s degree

• Moving across the country from Michigan to Texas

• Living in a total of 7 new places in the past decade

• Buying our first home

• Adding a new addition to the family, our Chihuahua Terrier, Catcher

• Starting and managing two businesses

• Beginning the spiritual journey of mindfulness and prioritization of my mental health

He has literally seen everything.

To think of a day that I won’t get to hear him meowing at 7:45 in the morning to feed him, running into the kitchen every time the pantry door opens - or someone opens a bag of food - or just feeling the sensation of his purring against the touch of my skin is not something I can yet imagine. And that’s where the pain begins.

For years, I was inadvertently conditioned to be the strong wife, friend, employee, boss, colleague, daughter – you name it – I was expected to stand tall.

• But what happens when you have always been the one to comfort someone through their grief?

• When you are always the one to take on the brunt of responsibility?

• When you are the one who isn’t allowed to make mistakes?

• The one person everyone turns to for advice and guidance?

If you aren’t careful, over time – you will eventually drive yourself to the lowest point – mentally, physically, and spiritually.

I didn’t realize this type of lifestyle choice was actually Superwoman Syndrome.

On the outside, many people think these women have it all: the woman who has a prominent job or career, a happy and close-knit family, a satisfying marriage or relationship, a strong friendship circle, the list goes on.

In reality, many of these women are suffering behind the scenes as they continue to neglect their own needs.

How do I know this? Because I was her. I still AM her.

Only recently did I decide that something needed to change. And that was because things in my life had truly hit rock bottom.

Although on the surface to many individuals I SHOULD have been happy, I was miserable.

• I never felt like I was fully supported.

• I felt alone.

• I felt I could never rely on anyone else to do anything because the expectation had become that I would be the one to step up.

This mindset trained me not to ask for help. Not to prioritize rest. Never allow myself grace or the space to make mistakes. After decades of doing this, it’s no wonder my health began to decline.

For the past 18 months, I had been trying to find my “thing,” my “niche,” my “secret sauce.” After all, one of the first things many people always say is that you have to find what sets you apart to gain a competitive advantage.

I didn’t know what that was until I faced the reality of grieving my first fur-baby, Aries.

He has been an extremely large part of my life for so long that the thought of knowing he will have crossed to the other side truly devastates me.

The immense amount of pain that I feel made it impossible for me to be there for anyone else other than myself and my partner. The energy it takes to simply get out of bed in the morning, make myself something to eat, and even focus on basic necessities has been extremely difficult.

I could no longer do it all. I had to focus on myself and only what immediately needed to be done.

Now that I’ve said this out loud, a part of me wonders why I never thought this was an option in the first place. It also made me realize that the reason why I came up with these strategies, systems, and processes that allowed me to work more efficiently wasn’t just because I was passionate about my work.

Ultimately, I began working in this way because I tried to be the best version of myself to everyone – except myself.

It lead to burnout, self-doubt, as well as anxiety and depression.

After executing several business concepts from doing social media strategy, to systems management, and productivity coaching – I finally realized why none of this seemed like the “purposeful fit” even though I was good at what I did: the mental component of it was missing. The emotional connection that truly fuels my purpose and passion for what I do.

PART TWO: Grieving Once They Are Gone

I now write this from the perspective of knowing what it feels like for a part of you to be gone. To officially begin the grieving process instead of just anticipating it. It hasn’t been easy to know that a major part of my life is suddenly stripped away from me.

However, it did teach a valuable lesson in cherishing the time that I have and making every moment count. It’s not to say that I didn’t know this before, but it especially resonates now after such a great loss.

There were so many things that I found myself saying “I will wait to do X when Y happens.” Except it never did.

Luckily, the only thing that I found myself regretting was something as simple as getting my little man a cat tree. The reason I never did was because I didn’t want him to get into the habit of climbing where he wasn’t supposed to. Grief is funny in that way.

You begin rationalizing that you should have done so many things differently – whether you should have or not.

The truth is, going through the grieving process has given me a different viewpoint on many things, but especially my daily choices and what I’ve chosen to prioritize. Things that seemed of the utmost importance no longer seem to matter.

During this time, I’ve spent many days and nights thinking to myself that I’ve spent so much time in my life working to strive for something better. A better version of the life I am living right now. With a bigger place. A bigger car. A bigger bank account. Bigger experiences.

While all of these things have come true, it’s taken this experience to make me realize that I didn’t need to wait for my life to be a certain way in order to start living it.

And the things I did have regardless of what I had achieved or what status I had been given should have been enough for me to be content. Something as simple as Aries’ presence was something that I took for granted every now and then.

It wasn’t until I knew that we were in our last moments that I would receive the wakeup call to shift my mindset.

The problem with always shifting your focus to the next achievement like many women with Superwoman Syndrome do, is that you are never celebrating what you’ve accomplished and never able to fully be present in the now.

You are never satisfied with where you are which consistently makes you feel like you need to do more.

Over time, you can miss out on moments and experiences that truly remind you of just how blessed you are. And for me, the past 14 years in which I was able to spend time with Aries and watch him grow from a small kitten at 10 weeks to a senior member of our family will always be some of the best memories in my life.

It is that feeling of being able to remove myself from the busyness and chaos of life to embrace simpler moments, expressing gratitude for what I do have, and feeling confident that there are more of these memories to come without always having to sacrifice my well-being is allowed.

It’s not always about working hard. Hell, sometimes, it’s not even about working at all. It’s about living.

And Aries’ life and the memory of it is what has influenced me on this shift within my business – and my life as well.

Without taking the time to truly step back and admire the areas of your life that make you happy, you will find that you can get caught up in the chase rather than the experience right in front of you.

And although it took 30 plus years of learning how to be everyone else’s support system except my own, it only took the last 2 years of my life and the experience of this painful loss to know that I need to make a change.

I know that I am not alone and that others may recognize that this too is an issue for them. But they just don’t have a place or person to even begin to help them.

I am that person.

Is It Bitchiness or Burnout? | The Number One Reason Why Working Hard Is Not Enough

Burnout is one of the most overused terms in our society today.

That’s why people tend to ignore those who claim to have it or are trying to manage it.

Many people think burnout isn’t real. It’s just an excuse for lazy people to stop working or stop performing as hard as they have been. In reality, burnout isn’t just about being lethargic or tired. It’s your body’s way of telling you that you need to switch gears, or you will eventually shut down.

The problem with today’s “hustle” culture is that it’s rooted in a fear and scarcity-based mindset. We have been conditioned to be afraid that if we aren’t always working that we will “miss” something. That we won’t get ahead. Or simply just be labeled unmotivated, lazy, and undeserving of success.

On the other side of that coin is knowing that there lies great power in rest. Relaxation. A retreat.

Most things in life are not designed to keep going without a pause, break, or reset. And we are no exception.

So why is this the mindset that most of us subscribe to when it comes to living the life that we want?

Money.

It’s that plain and simple.

With each passing decade, we gain more and more tools to work more, connect more, be available more. And yet, many have found that productivity after a certain point of constant working steadily declines over time. Rather than operate from that standpoint, we have been told the exact opposite.

“Don’t see the results you want?” Work harder.

When you take a step back and truly look at who that message is coming from, it is always spoken from the mouths from those who have achieved a certain accomplishment, milestone, or other desirable aspect of their own lives. And often, this message is driven from the person who has the very resources that we desire.

What Are We Working Towards?

For many that is money. For others it may be time. Flexibility. Freedom.

Despite this – all these people have one thing in common: The consistency in the actions they choose to take. The right actions that led to their success.

This is the key piece that no one talks about. Or rather, when we do speak about taking action, many people preach on about how their way is the ONLY and RIGHT way to execute tasks.

For those of us who haven’t achieved the level that we aspire to be, depending on how long we’ve been on this journey, we may feel desperate and alone because we feel that everything, we have tried is not good enough.

Today’s marketing offers lots of information, but it doesn’t offer continued support on how each person’s journey in business will be different. In 2024, too many business owners have mastered the art of manipulating people’s fear-based emotions and convincing them that they are broken. And of course, the only way to fix them is to offer your product or service.

When you reach your lowest point of being burned out, it’s generally not something you notice right away. For me, I had been putting countless hours into trying to be all things to everyone and everything for nearly a decade.

The fact this didn’t catch up to me sooner was pure luck at best.

So You’re Burned Out. Now What?

Recognizing that I needed time to recover was not something that came naturally. In fact, it required me to be more observant about the response I would have to everyday things – mentally or physically. I had to learn to set better boundaries, when to say no, and not overextend my capabilities when I knew something would have negative consequences down the line.

But that wasn’t something I learned to do on my own.

It took a couple of years of ongoing therapy, personal coaching, professional development, and even trauma management to get back into a positive position on how I chose to manage my life.

Burnout is something that looks different from person to person. Much like that of anxiety, depression, and grief – every individual, myself included, manages their emotions, their mental states, and their day-to-day actions in different ways.

Recognizing I was burned out wasn’t something that I recognized right away. In fact, it took me years.

Although the process was gradual, I began noticing that I felt more and more fatigued as time went on.

Waking up to start the day and shutting my mind down at night before bed became increasingly difficult.

Things that once brought me joy I was no longer interested in.

Projects or tasks that used to come easy to me or that I historically excelled in were no longer challenging to execute.

As months turned into years, I realized one vacation, one good night of sleep, or one period of time off was not going to fix how I felt. The reason I know this is because I’ve tried these things to remedy the situation. And while it offers temporary relief – the problem persists unless you deal with the underlying issues that cause burnout in the first place.

My own personal experience with burnout is still ongoing as I write this blog. For twenty years, I did nothing but work. It started in high school out of necessity to make my own ends meet with things I needed for school. Going to school full-time is enough on it’s own, but the minute I was able to, I added 32 hours of outside work into the mix.

From then on, it became second nature that I balanced work and school. Every minute and hour of the day was always filled with something. And after college, I didn’t slow down. If anything – the need to constantly work became worse.

At one point I held 3 jobs, working over 60 hours a week, all while trying to balance a long-distance relationship and attempting to manage living on my own in my early 20s.

In retrospect, when things became simpler with one job, what I should have done was take the time to slow down and understand where I wanted to go and how I was going to navigate toward getting there. However, at the time, all that I knew was what I had heard and what I was taught which was to work harder.

The message always has been reiterated over and over again that if you aren’t seeing the results that you want out of life, the problem is that you aren’t working hard enough. While the intention behind this message is intended to motivate people, it is simply not true and only half of the equation when it comes to success.

Experiencing burnout long-term has made me take a more introspective view over the past decade and recognize that most of my efforts, hard work, and time spent while well-intentioned and taught me many lessons, was ultimately ineffective for the results I actually desired.

Much of the disappointment of putting in hard work and feeling like you receive lackluster or no results, is what can begin the cycle of burning out.

What Brought Me To This Point

In a society where you are expected to see instant gratification for your actions, it can feel exceptionally defeating to put in time consistently toward something and not see the results you are looking for.

This is the reason why I started my business.

I hated the feeling of waking up each and every day feeling as if there was a larger purpose I was supposed to fulfill.

It felt like wasted time to spend majority of my life waking up to a job that gave someone else the life they wanted while I felt stuck in a hamster wheel of repeating the same things day after day with no satisfaction.

It was no longer acceptable to me that poor mental health, lack of direction, and dissatisfaction with one’s overall life has been normalized since as long as I can remember.

I created Simply Stellar Solutions because I’ve seen firsthand how others are growing tired of working constantly with little to no return.

Personally, this looks like participating in societal norms of having jobs we hate but are told to have because we have bills and mortgages to pay. Following career paths for stability and not passion or purpose. Basing our choices on what other people think or to please others rather than following our hearts.

Professionally, this shows up in organizations that base their decisions on what can generate money the fastest – not necessarily what is most efficient or would benefit the company long term.

If we take the time to look at many of the choices that we make from an outside perspective, many of us will find that there are far too many decisions made because it’s what’s expected of us – not because it was something we desired or wanted to have.

By the time you have surpassed three decades on this earth, it’s not unusual to ask yourself if the life you have is the one you want or aspire to have. Mid-life crises happen to those of us who are desperately trying to grasp to some semblance of what they always thought their life would be like. It’s their attempt to fill in the gap.

But rather than filling a void, or implementing a short-term fix, what if you changed your lifestyle to match what you wanted? Is it really that difficult? Or are we choosing to make it harder than it is?

I created my business not only as a necessity to others – but ultimately to myself. My experience with periods of anxiety and depression which always led me back to burnout stemmed from one thing: Superwoman Syndrome.

I have heard my entire life that I don’t get to take shortcuts. That if I want to succeed I have to be twice as good, work twice as hard, be multifaceted, and most importantly – learn to balance any and all aspects of my personal and professional life with a smile on my face. It starts with learning to juggle your career and your home life. Then you add in social activities. Extracurricular activities and commitments. Supporting your community, your family, your friends.

Before you know it, this balanced life we speak of is actually nonexistent because we’ve been taking care of everyone – except ourselves.

The older I get, the more I despise the concept of being a “strong, Black woman.”

• Am I proud of being strong? Yes!

• Am I honored to identify as Black? 100 percent!

• Am I grateful to experience this life as a woman? Absolutely!

But the combination of doing this shit every single day, is – well, exhausting.

It’s the schema of being a strong, Black woman that got me burned out in the first place.

• I didn’t feel like I could make mistakes.

• I didn’t feel like I could or deserved to rest.

• I didn’t feel like I could be human.

My life has always been managed as if I’m a machine.

And sadly, this is the story for most women just like me who believed that the harder they worked, the closer they came to achieving “success.”

Except, the needle always moves farther and farther.

The benchmark is constantly changing.

The finish line gets pushed back with each goal that’s accomplished.

It’s a never ending cycle.

That is until you decide to break it.

Half the battle of Superwoman Syndrome is recognizing and accepting the fact that you don’t have to DO it all to HAVE it all.

You can have the life you desire by simply making different lifestyle choices. And for many of us – it’s not that we can’t do it. It’s that we don’t want to.

It’s so deeply ingrained in us that we need to be the ones in charge. We need to be the ones who people choose to come to with their problems. That we have to be the ones to sacrifice our time, our attention, and even our health to benefit others.

Once I realized that there was more power in doing less, I vowed to never make the mistake of trying to take on the world ever again. And it’s my mission to make sure you don’t either.

The Mindset Shift That Changed My Life | First Step to Overcoming Burnout

I wanted to give up.

I was exhausted. All the time. Every. Day.

I finally had had enough of feeling like all the effort I was putting in was only giving me a small percentage of the results I desired.

Something had to change.

But I didn’t have the slightest clue on where to even start.

When most people become burned out, they feel like they are so far deep in the weeds that no amount of work will ever get them ahead.

It’s the mental equivalent of climbing up a hill, only to realize that there is another hill to climb every time you think you’ve reached the top.

Eventually you will feel defeated.

That was 2020 for me.

How Did I Get Here?

Most people think of the pandemic and quarantine when we talk about two years ago. But that’s not the reason I felt defeated in 2020.

Waking up one day I realized I was in my third failed job. (And by failed, I mean another low paying, underappreciated, dead-end opportunity). I wasn’t happy. I wasn’t making a difference. Hell, at this point I wasn’t even performing.

For 7 years I chased many Millennials’ dreams in landing that career position that makes you feel like you’ve finally achieved success. Whether it’s a pay raise, or a job title, the work you do – I bought the fallacy that with hard work – the life I always wanted would come.

Except it never did.

At this point in time, I was in a role at a company I hated and lost all respect for. To add insult to injury, I had moved across the country to work at a shit-show. Nothing was organized. Everything was poorly explained. Support from leadership was nonexistent. And my confidence was at an all-time low because of just how frequently I was put into positions to fail.

2 years before that I landed my first management role.

This seemed promising on paper, but it soon became clear that my career was doomed - unless I played the game of office politics.

I forfeited – willingly.

Experience and qualifications didn’t matter in an environment that valued friendship over facts.

Prior to that role, I was able to work my way from a volunteer position to a full-time event professional. Too bad the experience was ultimately soured when I began dealing with ignorance, microaggressions, and poor accountability in the last few months of the job.

One of my first jobs went as far as to put me on the lead of various projects as they trusted my capability in the results I could get. Unfortunately, mid-twenties Monica hadn’t yet gotten the memo to not outperform or even appear to be better at your job than your boss – it will definitely cost you. My last year in that place was hell.

After nearly a decade of being told hard work would pay off and to keep going – I finally called bullshit.

Literally, I had dealt with plagiarism at work, corporate mean girls, drunk and incapable bosses, and countless lies about the jobs, the companies – you name it, I’ve been told a lie about it.

I became cynical about working a 9 to 5. I no longer saw a point. I’m supposed to wake up, work for over 50 years, barely have enough to cover rent or bills, being passed up for promotions by less qualified and dedicated colleagues, all while being told that I need to “pay my dues” but yet, I’m “overqualified?”

It made no sense.

How Stress and Exhaustion Led to Entrepreneurship

In a world where pensions are non-existent, cost of living rises while salaries remain stagnant, and most companies offering benefits that are worth their own segment of a comedy show – working for someone else became less appealing with each passing year.

There had to be more to life than just working to make money, pay bills, wake up, and do it all over again – until retirement.

The more I thought about it, the angrier I became.

At most places, I wasn’t even appreciated. I constantly found myself in negative situations simply because of what I brought to the table. No matter how hard I worked, it was never enough. And after 20 years of playing this game, I was done participating.

Without an exact plan and stepping out on faith – I left the last toxic job I would ever hold in September 2020. I didn’t know what the path was that I needed to be on. I just knew it wasn’t this one.

Starting a business when you’re already burned out wasn’t my best idea – but it was the single best strategy that led me one step closer to living the life I’ve always wanted.

When it comes to burnout and your mental health, my career and employment history unfortunately was only half of the problem.

The other half was not understanding how unresolved trauma, depression, anxiety, and lack of clarity can have a significant impact on your well-being over time.

After what seemed like years of headaches, heartburn, fatigue, and a shaky immune system, the mental elements began to manifest into physical ailments. At this point, it seemed like I had more bad days than good.

With each passing day, I began to realize that hard work alone wasn’t going to get me the results – not to mention life – that I wanted. I actively made the choice to pursue entrepreneurship.

I knew it wasn’t going to be easy – but I figured if I had spent a decade trying a traditional job and I wasn’t happy, that trying a different path wouldn’t hurt.

Once I started being honest with myself, I began to realize that I had always dreamed of opening my own company. The only thing stopping me was thinking that I needed to have a certain level of “success” already in my current career.

Not only did that not make any sense – it wasn’t true.

In fact, I already had gained a small peek inside of what entrepreneurship would be like.

7 years ago when I willingly left toxic job number three (yes there’s a whole roster) – I was fortunate enough to be in the position that I could take the downtime to launch a small business. So, I filed a DBA and began my first side hustle, Perfect Package Events.

At the time, I was convinced that the only skillset I had was event planning and execution. By 2017, I had already planned, executed, or assisted other event coordinators and vendors with nearly 600 events. The types of events varied ranging from weddings and receptions, bridal and baby showers, anniversary parties, galas, proms, fundraisers, and corporate meetings.

For me, the easiest market to tap into was wedding planning so that became my focus. I already understood the demographic, who were the best players within the local industry, and the systems I needed to get started based on my previous years of experience.

I didn’t take my business too seriously as I ended up landing a full-time role. But I didn’t stop working on it. Surprised would be an understatement when I realized I made five figures in my first year with little to no effort in marketing and advertising.

My second year of business never came around as I moved to Austin, Texas. I decided to put my business on hold until I got more settled within a new state, new city, and new position. When I was ready to begin planning again the world changed with a global quarantine.

The Mindset Shift I Made to Overcome Burnout

It was during this time that things came full circle and I realized that I needed to view entrepreneurship as more of a lifestyle rather than an added revenue stream. The main thing stopping me from doing so was…  myself.

There were so many conflicting thoughts about whether an event business during a pandemic was the right move. I had to make a decision on whether I was passionate enough to want to launch the same business in a brand-new city where I knew no one and would be starting over.

I also began to expand my limiting beliefs around what I was capable of and good at performing. Unfortunately, at this time I was at the lowest I had ever been when it came to feeling confident or even that I deserved to be in a position of leadership. After serving in three roles in four years I began to realize that these companies weren’t the problem – I was.

The problem wasn’t that I lacked the skills, professionalism, or team player abilities to be deemed valuable or successful.

The problem was that I lacked a clear focus of what it was I truly wanted – and this problem had been around since the very beginning of my career. The expectations of what I wanted in return didn’t match the roles I pursued, the projects I led, or the overall perspective and vision that I saw for myself long-term.

So in return, I began doing everything in search of what I really wanted from my life.

The longer I worked in Corporate America the more I realized that almost all of us have been conditioned to work tirelessly in hopes that the more work we put in the more likely we will get the “dream job” we’ve always wanted.

The kicker is that for most of us, that simply doesn’t work. Hard work does not equal success.

Seriously, it doesn’t.

Productivity Doesn’t Automatically Equal Progress

Many people within the professional development industry will tell you that if you aren’t seeing the results you want, that you should just work harder. However, the reality is that doing a lot of the wrong thing is not going to get you anywhere. And the only way to avoid doing the wrong activities is to actively focus on the right ones.

It’s impossible to do that with a lack of clarity and focus about what you want, where you are, and where you need to go to bridge the gap.

For ten years I questioned where my true expertise lied, what value I brought to any project, organization, or relationship, and how to find where I truly belonged.

When I inquired with other people about these struggles, I would receive the typical answers of needing to find what I was “passionate” about, to look at my past history for clues, or to dig back into my mental archives for what I enjoyed during my childhood.

Unfortunately, for someone with a multifaceted background and childhood in terms of experiences, all this did was confuse me more.

The more I did, the more confused I became.

Eventually, I grew tired of being all things to everyone all of the time.

This was a leading factor in how I ultimatley realized much of the problem with my mindset came down to Superwoman Syndrome - but that’s another story for another day.

Routinely, I would ask myself the question of how I was supposed to connect the dots between seemingly unrelated aspects:

• Nonprofits versus corporate

• Logistics or supply chain management versus event planning

• Workforce development versus hospitality and retail

None of these made sense to connect to the other. Until I came to the conclusion of what ultimately, I launched my business on. Finally, I saw a common denominator, and connecting factor for every role and every project of interest I’ve ever had throughout my life.

That factor was my ability to develop strategies on how to streamline operations using simple systems and processes that helped my teams and clients alike reverse-engineer their concepts and ideas into actionable steps.

In simpler terms, I had a knack for transforming big picture thinking and concepts into specific, detail-oriented plans that were easier to execute and less likely to overwhelm those with enough tasks already on their plates.

An even bigger revelation? Finding the clarity I needed to finally accept that I really could do less and achieve more. I didn’t need to continue behaving as a superhero.

The biggest lesson I learned over the past decade in working with so many different types of people, industries, and roles, is that most of the time poor decisions, misguided strategies, unmanageable workloads, and high stress levels always came down to lack of focus on the end goal.

Regardless of the type of work and people involved, I began to notice at each stage of my career that this challenge always existed. No matter how educated, experienced, or valued employees, team members, and leadership alike were within their roles – none of that mattered. Many, if not all, of us suffered from this same thing. And that is because we’ve always been taught to work hard, not smart.

The result? Poor mental health that results from the constant need to push yourself beyond the limits to achieve a goal that always has a finish line that moves.

My blog, Painfully Employed is a space where I tell the truth of how I ended up where I am, the obstacles I experienced along the way, and why I am dedicating my business’ mission to helping other entrepreneurs not make the same mistakes.

Success isn’t just about how much you know and who – but also how you choose to operate in the long term.

It’s not always about the methods and strategies on how you become “successful.” It also takes a positive perspective and prioritization of your mental health.

And this blog, will talk about the balance of both performance and your mindset.